If you read my previous post, you already know that I never dreamt of coming to America. It was my brother’s dream. I also know a lot of Zimbabweans who would love to be in the African diaspora because of the current situation in Zimbabwe. I also know Zimbabweans in the African diaspora (including me), if things were “okay” in Zimbabwe, we would pack our bags and live in Zimbabwe. I have lived in America more than I have lived in Zimbabwe so that would be something I would consider.
The current marketing culture encourages you to buy a phone for example every year. You will be crucified if you are found still using a flip phone. We will have to go to sangomas (spiritual leaders) to see if they can help you. How dare you? Winning the fight against capitalism’s motive to make a profit. Yep, there must be something wrong with you? I feel guilty that I am still using a 2019 cellphone. It is as if there is a phone-police, that will check my phone and I will have to blame it on the Pandemic and not having a job.
Social media makes it worse. There are people who feel they need to show the world that they are doing alright. I have my days. I removed my family pictures on Facebook because I want to keep a part of me sacred. I sometimes talk about my little one on it, but I have stopped sharing any photos of her.
Maybe you are immune to social media, but I know that when I go on it when I am going through something, I leave the place emptier than I was.
Comparing ourselves to others is a deadly disease. You will never be enough if you compare yourself to someone who you think is “doing better” than you. The truth is, we do not know the battles each of us are fighting behind the scenes.
The grass is greener where you water it. If you start focusing on yourself, your relationships and the things that matter to you, you will find some pretty good things happening in your life.
I have been going through some chaos in my life. One day I was holding my little one’s hand. I was amazed with how smooth and soft her little hand was. I realized that in the past few months, I did hold that little hand a thousand times and I was not present. I had not stopped to feel and appreciate my blessings.
When you look at your neighbor’s lawn, it is east to covert, wish you had the same beautiful, trimmed lawn. I believe you can have it, but you have to be willing to put in the work. You have to study your lawn. See if there any patches that starting to dry. They are calling for your attention. They need more water and weeds to be removed around them. The lawn needs love. You cannot drive or walk on it and expect it to survive. It needs constant care. If you cannot personally take care of the lawn, then hire someone to do the job for you if you really care about it.
Unless you are in a war zone, I believe that you are where you are for a reason. Look around you and figure out what is it in your life that needs to get watered. If you are struggling with something maybe, God or the Universe (whatever you believe in) is trying to teach you something. If you do not take time to learn the lesson, you will be stuck in the position until you do.
Whether it is your career, personal life or family, in order for “it” to stay green, you will have to do the work. Life is too short. Find out what you really need to focus on and let go of the noise. It is meant to discourage you.
Stop comparing your life with anybody. This is your life, and you are the one who was meant to live in it. So, live in it. When I die, I want my tomb stone to say, “There lies a woman who lived her life.” My job now is to make it true. It does not mean that my life is going to be perfect. It means that I am going to feel every feeling I was meant to feel. I am also going to do all I can to live a mark in this world. Even if it a small mark, I want my loved ones to truly feel love when they think of me.
I have to take my time to kill the weeds in my lawn and make sure that I do not kill the grass in the process. I believe that everyone in my life is there for a reason, even some of them are just there for a short season.
Wherever you are in life, take time to appreciate your surroundings. I am amazed that when I live in a town, I tend to take it for granted. I will pay money to go and hike in another town, but I never took time to know the mountain next to me. The mountain in the other town looks nice than the one next to me. I think the air is fresh, the one here is you know “boring”.
Some people in New York are paying lots of money to go to Victoria Falls but they have never been to Niagara Falls. I think it is about the narrative that we want to tell other people. Covid-19 is forcing us to figure out our priorities. It is forcing people to appreciate the small things and the parks nearby. I hope we continue to appreciate the little things in our lives.
Stop wanting your neighbor’s grass, you do not know what kind of manure they are using. Using Iyanla’s voice, “DO THE WORK.” That six pack you see on that person, you can also have it, right now it is underneath your one pack, just do the work. It is not going to be easy, but you have to choose the pain you want to feel. Do you want the gym pain or the unhealthy pain? You were given that beautiful body of yours, show it some love. Stop converting other people’s bodies. They are doing the work. Give that body of yours some tender love.
I know my life and I know which part of it needs some tender loving. How about you?
Nyasha's Voice 